My B-side

Aeroplanes

I always get embarrassed with myself when I blog what I really feel. These are the types of things you share with your friends. I have friends, great ones in fact; but I can’t force myself to be entirely real with anyone or anything but paper (in this case my little 14 by 12 screen). I flew into Indiana today, I was more excited to go to the Turtle Soup Festival in Troy, Indiana at age 12 than I was to come back home for Christmas ...it feels like blasphemy calling Mt.Vernon home. I love flying and I hate flying. I love it simply because for those few hours in the air I value my life and am grateful for each passing second I am granted for fear that it will end with a large gust of wind…a total The Life You Save May Be Your Own complex. I hate it because for those few hours I’m valuing my life I’m deliberating all of the what ifs a twenty year old brain possesses. I have one big what if. It will stay with me for the rest of my life discounting every new experience I will have. Being here emphasizes the supremacy of that what if all the more. And what is hell really, but every what if you’ve ever had massed together into a chaotic state of emotional torment. I’ll walk around this town with my eyes closed, clad in my bullet proof vest.

posted by Melissa at 22:06