My B-side: 04.05

Today's Ear Candy

Jersey Girl

Brand New just gave Bamboozle the shaft. No regrets on my part. Oh, Jesse Lacey. How you and that number 11 rock my socks.

What If

Today is my parent’s 20th wedding anniversary…oh wait, just kidding. Someday, I’m going to write a novel about Peggy and Bernie’s romance. It actually makes an interesting story how everything worked out …or didn’t work out, depending on which parent you ask. My mother was writing my father love letters only weeks before his wedding, and to think I ever wondered how I became such a crazed-romantic. I bet in the womb she was telling me, “When it comes to love have no dignity, sacrifice your pride for the love of another.” And look where that got her. Hmmm I should go call Peggy, she might need a friend today.

I think I may be addicted to collage making...

I heart BYU

Back in the day...

Orson...that's a pretty rough name.

The Monday following my arrival I headed to the Alexandrian Public Library. Oh how I love the Alexandrian Public Library. More so, how I love Orson Scott Card and Xenocide. I meant to buy the book at B&N back in P-Town but the shelves had been raided and I couldn't afford the hardback. So, I delayed myself the fate of the buggers and piggies for a few more days. But on the said Monday I found that some horribly awful person with incredibly good reading tastes had checked out the ONLY copy of Xenocide. I returned everyday hoping it would be back in its resting spot till I realized the search catalog gives you an estimated wait. 5 MORE DAYS!!!! Wow, I feel like a nerd.

Subtitles

Every once in awhile I get this craving for French films. Tonight’s entrée: He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not. My favorite foreign flick next to Hero is Amelie actually let them be tied. Anyway, the leading actress of Amelie also stars in He Loves Me which caused me to believe the story would be much the same; the actress probably a stereotypical role-player. But no…this was the Anti-Amelie, friends. Demented is the only appropriate adjective. Anyway, if you desire to look over your shoulder for the next couple of days definitely check this one out.

Quotes

"Time is the best author. It always writes the perfect ending." -Charlie Chaplin ...isn't that an amazing quote!?! (Thanks Bry)

Ok and if any guy walked up to me and said this...who knows what crazy thing I'd do, but it would have to be equally amazing. “Next to God we are indebted to women, first for life itself, and then for making it worth having.” -Christian Bovee

"Some people feeeel the rain, others just get wet."

Quality

It was very trying to find the right highway in a playground of overpasses and exits. Indy travel is insane but once I found I65 the adventure was over and a 3.5-hour butt numbing bore was mine, all mine. I busted out a few C.D.’s I created back in the day when home C.D. burning was just invented. My music tastes…wow, have changed. Once I got bored with Hanson (jk, no my tastes were never THAT bad) I diverted my attention to in-car people watching. Because I am a law-abiding citizen who will only drive 10 over there was a great lack of variety, I was in the mix of the same 5 cars all the way home. I watched this elderly (meaning 30+) Kentucky couple for a good ten minutes. Not once did I see them speak to each other. It was insane!!! They say that before you marry someone you need to take a road trip with them and see how you fair. I think they neglected this much-needed advice. Wow. Or perhaps they are actually intense lovers in a clash… doubtful. They had two hangers of dry-clean-only in the backseat and the guy after all was only going 10 over the speed limit. They’ve inspired me to either a) never marry or b) never travel. Blah.

Hollywood Hills and Suburban Thrills

My dad tells me he’s flying to SoCal (did you know people from SoCal don't even call it SoCal?) this coming weekend…so random. And he doesn’t even think to invite me! I’d love to bump into Brad Pitt but instead I’ll be the airport shuttle, fun times. At least the step mom is going with him; allowing me an opportunity to kidnap Sparky again. Still…I’d pick Brad Pitt over the Shitzu.

Just Call Me Mrs. Kutcher

It's really been a crazy day and when I say crazy I mean relatively normal with a few weird moments. I met Diane's friend, Andrew, who is uber cool by the way. I got the impression that he thinks I'm unhinged. I definitely stopped being insane when I left for college, but something about Indiana makes me eccentric. Or maybe it's Di:). But I had a good time, being the third wheel and all (story of my life!). No, it was really entertaining and not awkward at all despite the fact I'm the queen of akward moments. I highly recommend A Lot Like Love...not because it's original or quirky or deep but because Ashton Kutcher is in it and he plays the guitar. That's enough for tonight.

The Love Game in Indiananana

BEST LOVE GAME SCORE EVER! 3 Diamonds= upper middle class richness... 4 Clubs= 3 girls, 1 boy... 1 Spade= 1 fight a week... 4 Hearts= lovin' 4 times a week, ow ow!... What a perfect life, I know, I know.

Best Friends Means...

4 hours of driving, it was disgustingly boring...but well worth it. Today I fled Hell and drove to the state capital. Diane was well aware of my coming but Bryana...oh Bryana, she was clueless. I called Diane as I entered the parking lot of Schwitzer Hall, "I'M HERE, DI!!!!!!!!!!!" K, I'm sending Bry down, meet her in the front lobby. So I walk through the hall to the main entrance. I cannot find my BFF anywhere! I looked outside and there she was kind of wandering. So I bust through the double doors and scream BRYANA DEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She whips around and kind of stares at me, not moving for a good 30 seconds. I'm so confused thinking she doesn't recognize me anymore, I mean it hasn't been that long but I did dye my hair blondish. Before I know it my life is being hugged out of me, I can't stop laughing. We're both just estatic. Diane meets us outside and Bryana and I end our embrace. Di gives me a huge hug and laughs as Bryana cries. It was a site! Nothing has felt so close to home yet. We went for dinner at Olive Garden and then participated (well sorta) in the Butler Relay For Life. Later, we watched Saved!, ugh I give it a -5. I love Butler!!!!! If I wasn't Mormon, I'd be here next year. Song of the Day: Promise by Eve6

My Runaway Note

The moment I stepped onto Indiana soil was the moment I lost year’s worth of maturity. I feel like a little girl here. For instance, the other day I made a fort out of my computer desk so that I’d have a reading hut. Who does that?!? Today, I danced around with this giant bouncy ball for an hour and it was a lot of fun…yeah I felt like an actor in From Justin To Kelly (lol, do you guys remember that scene!?). And then I kidnapped my dog; I’m just begging the evil stepmother to hate me. Anyway, this is all very uncharacteristic of me, believe it or not. Since I’ve reverted back to the playful ways of a five year old, I’ve decided to do what all little kids do, that’s right…I’m running away. Fortunately, I am practically ancient, so I’ll make much more progress than I did back in 1989, with Mapquest and a truck and all. So, if I don’t blog for a few days, fear not. I’m sure I’ll be in good hands.

A Smelly Breeze Reunion

When we were little...little-er.

A Lack Thereof

The sirens called me outside to play. There awaited a beautiful mess of spring. I laughed and dodged lightning bolts; I did my best to catch bits of rain on my tongue. I’ve experienced a hundred of these storms, watched half of them, danced in a quarter of them; but today it felt new. How I’ve missed the smell before rain and the touch of wind, the sight of a lightning rod. If only it could storm everyday, Mt.Vernon might be worth my while.

How Embarrasing, I Know

Because I stumbled across it...

Because 1600 miles has become 5…

Because I’m ridiculous...

Because I’m bored (and I know he's bored)…

Because it’s worth is now equivalent to a 50 Cent rap song...

Because I never let anyone read it back when it meant something...

Because I watched Before Sunset...

THE ENTWINED LIVES OF BIRD AND FISH: PART TWO

A bird may love a fish, but where would they live... They’d live in an apologetic painting of a couple lost in love Or in a red dress, the cornerstone of an enchanted evening. They’d live in a hollowed gumball, a lucky shade of neon pink Or in a cup of hot cocoa that warms the winter air. They’d live in a rusty old barn, next to the poor hobo Or in a shoebox of goodies shipped from across the country. They’d live in rare raspberry filled candies Or in bantering teddy bears. They’d live in photo albums and scrapbooks Or in scented letters, miles and miles from home. They’d live in coat pockets among secret notes Or next to a written wish inside a paper airplane. They’d live in sound of the ocean; made by a flooded river Or in the echo’s of a quiet hotel stairwell. They’d live in the library on the shelf next to Catch 22 Or in Nine Horses, wedged between pages 29 and 30. They’d live in Cassiopeia, Calliope, and Orion Or in the infamous number seven. They’d live in the always-present irony Or in the fate of serendipity They’d live in infectious laughter Or in the golden hour of three a.m, They’d live inside one another In their memories and in the past.

Hotel Rwanda

The saddest movie of life...for reals, I cried the entire 120 minutes.

Tequilas at last!! ...long live the white cheese.

I love how there are like .5 Mormon boys in all of Indiana...

the next line: Can I see you, Can I see yooooou, Can I see you now? Thanks Jen-Jen, I miss you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Indiana...boo!

After an entire day of travel and a very unsuccessful attempt to turn the plane back around, I’m here…in Indiana. Church this morning was wonderful!! Almost worth the trip. We have a ton of new converts, the Sister Missionaries are tearing up the place. Ugh, I had to go to all of the old people classes, which was interesting to say the very least. And I received the most hugs of life! It’s weird to be Melissa again, I barely respond to it anymore. Oh well, I’ll adjust, because that’s what I do. I slept a better part of the day, desperately trying to regain the many lost hours of rest and relaxation. MY bed gives me the greatest sleep despite its uncomfortable-ness. I’m sooooo bored!!! I just wander around looking for entertainment trying my best to avoid my dad and his wife. AWKWARD. I even sat on my lawn for a half hour thumbing the grass trying to escape the clumsiness. Yeah…that’s how bored I am. I need a job, a massive vocation that consumes every second of my day. I should be a bodyguard. Anyway, I’m gonna go wander some more. In tribute to BYU, I miss you, I miss yoooou, and I miss you. I need you, I need yoooou, and I need you more!!!! And then there’s the next line of the song that no one really knows... 4 Months, 1 Week, 3 Days

So Long, So Long

They say home is where the heart is. If this were true I wouldn’t be heading home right now, I would be leaving it.

I dreamt my plane crashed…it’s a sign! I’m just not meant for Indiana.

Abby, Rachel, Jenny, Jill, Melissa, Amber, Heather, Maggie, Brett, The entire T-5, 50^th Ward, and the Cosmo’s Crew: It’s been real. Each of you has helped make B.Y.U. my Utopia. I miss you already!!!!!!

4 Months, 1 Week, 5 Days and counting…

Ender and Valentine

The quiet things that no one ever knows: My sleepless mind tried its best to understand why my mother would call three times and text twice before the clock hit 8. When I realized that three times warrants an emergency of the sort, I called back with slurred morning speech and sleep filled eyes. My mother’s voice was urgent. She needed a tow-truck, which equals “What is our Triple A membership number.” Sometimes I feel like I’m the parent…oh well. So I tried my best to voice it over. I asked what had happen. Apparently my wonderful brother went psycho on her Mazda, and left it for dead under a bypass. I asked a rhetorical question (this is the 5^th car he has wrecked, including my dad’s truck), why would he do that? Apparently, he was on some pretty hard drugs. Ones they don’t teach you about in health class. (I didn’t fully comprehend, at Christmas my brother had cleaned up.) By now, my mom was sobbing into the receiver and I was wide awake. She summarized my brother’s dramatic monologue, “He said you were my favorite. And Dad’s favorite. And he said he hated you and he can’t be perfect like you.”(She always tells me more than I’d like to hear.) My heart broke. I wanted to scream at him, but I knew if I called profanities would be aplenty. I hate profanities. :(

So, now it’s 8 something and I have a battery acid taste in my mouth. Sleep is only a nice thought. Just give me one more day, Matthew, and then I’ll come rescue you.

Moral of the story: Don’t do drugs; you’ll make your little sister cry.

The Copeland Concert!!

Amber, Me, JAMES, Jenny, Megan

It's All About the Timing

I searched religiously for two years. Admittedly, after the umpteenth “0 items found” message, I experienced rapid hopeless for the Ebay Corporation. Last night, I was recalling my great search. I couldn’t resist the urge to run one more search before putting my great ambitions into their grave. One more chance…and after two years of mad searching, I had found exactly what I was looking for. It seemed too impractical- too impossible- too fateful to be true. I frantically emailed the Twitchyfingers496 and begged for another picture to convince my unbelieving eyes. Today, I received an email back. I sat staring at the attachment. My hopes topped Everest. After counting to three I closed my eyes and double right-clicked. I opened them. IT WAS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hit bid now like it was my job. The auction doesn’t end for another four days; but I’m the only and highest bidder. Watch, someone will sweep away my prize five minutes to glory. And I’ll have to wait yet another two years.

moral of the story: Never give up!!

Such a promising summer...ha, right.

I seem to have forgotten how boring Mt.Vernon, Indiana is...it's going to be a long summer. So when it grows a bit warmer I'm going to blow up the baby pool and buy an inflatable raft and spend a good deal of time afloat, reading whatever until my eyes or skin are burnt. A few books I have selected: The Alvin Maker Series, Xenocide, Children of the Mind, Mansfield Park, Die Bucher Mormon, A Long Way Down ...and who knows what else.

Ishmael, you have to read Speaker for the Dead by Orson Scott Card!

The Greatest Pen-Pal

His letters are always laced with inside jokes, and drawings of fat men who I’ll supposedly marry or crazy-haired old ladies. We don’t write about music or love; very different from our normal conversation. Nevertheless, even the mundane everyday things seem significantly important. Most notably, in these letters we have an opportunity to discuss the religion that I love, the one he’s giving a pair of years of life to. For this he is my hero. I miss my argumentative friend (You can’t say things like that to missionaries, only words of encouragement.) I hadn’t realized that Dano by my own definition had morphed into my best friend. It must have happened in-between Red vs. Blue episodes or late night conversations on breaking molds or perhaps the reciting of Brand New lyrics…oh number 11. I have only one regret in regard to my first semester of life. I gave silent treatment to someone who will probably never deserve it. It prevented a real goodbye…or at least postponed it for two years. Even still, he calls me HIS hero; an endlessly amazing compliment. Even still, I was to be granted the James Dean poster!!!!! “I was gonna let you borrow my James Dean poster for 2 years, but then you got mad at me and we didn’t talk…but I was gonna do that so we’d be sure to meet up in 2 years!” I had won the James Dean poster…sad day.

ImDb- the truth hurts...BAD.

Jenny, Mil, Jilly, and I just found on iMDB that Channing Tatum is not only a French porn star but a homosexual as well!! Being the masterminds of the We Love Channing Facebook club, our hearts were especially wrought by this new information. But then we found Brad Pitt came to the rescue... who DEFINITELY is not gay, and all was well. "I'm gonna design my own fleet of trailers. No! I'm gonna record an album like Jennifer Lopez. It'll be an acoustic version of K.C. and the Sunshine Band. Then maybe I'll design a line of clothes like Puff Daddy but all in synthetic fur"…oh, Brad.

Major Decisions

I just made four attempts at a blog concerning instant oatmeal. Needless to say I cannot write about trivial things unless I have a passion for them. (And if I do have such zeal the title of trivial is immediately disregarded of course.) And while I LOOOVE Quaker Peaches and Cream instant oatmeal there’s not much it stirs inside of me besides stomach acid. Which poses a problem (not a stomach problem, but worse!), I’ve managed to switch my major to English. And while I love the art of language I’m worried I will never find a job that I could deep-sea-scuba in. I refuse to write about things that are petty to me. Even worse, I refuse to write about things SERIOUSLY imperative to me as well. My own difficulty has named my muse Mediocrity…oh what a life. I should just be a Vegas bell-hop, that's where the money's at.

Who needs the stars anyway?

Jilly forgot her cell phone. Despite our love for Jill Catts none of us dared to turn back around for another 5 block walk. My own legs weary, my cheeks numbingly cold, caused me to volunteer the Mazda. We made our way, all 6 of us, to the NC Boys’ house. We played the music loud, rolled the windows down, and I know, in that moment, we were all subconsciously grateful for Jill’s forgetfulness…One more minute of fun, one more minute of being nineteen and carefree. In our blithe Blake and Taylor noticed the Mazda’s supreme feature, the sunroof. Blake instantaneously pressed the black button. I watched in horror as a moonlit sky half-filled my car. Jenny shared my dreadful view, for she knew the story behind the sunroof. “NO!!!! Stop!!!” she yelled. Blake was greatly confused by her intense request. He asked why. Her eyes danced from Blake to me; my cue. “Well, it’s broken. Once you open it, you will never be able to close it again.” He apologized and hit the neighboring twin button. “Look Gerthie, it closed.” Taylor laughed, “See, with the priesthood you can do things impossible!” It was weird for him to weave our religion into such an apparently trivial matter…weird enough for Jenny to throw a nervous glance in my direction. The boys emptied out of the car, we had reached our destination, and Jilly had her phone. The sunroof was closed but that didn’t keep Jenny and me from examining it. Of course, no one else had noticed. Why would they? They don’t know the story. And for some reason I grew very glad that I had told Jenny, for I had someone to share the burdens of my past with. She saw it all just as I did, not only the priesthood could close a dead sunroof but also the hand of a young boy who wanted to show a girl just how very sorry he was. Too bad she never got it... not until now. You were my Libo.

Speaker for the Dead

"For he loved her, as you can only love someone who is an echo of yourself at a time of deepest sorrow."

Copeland- Priceless

"Cause I need you

Like the dragonflies' wings need the wind

Like the orphan needs home once again

Like heaven needs more to come in

I need you here like you've always been

Taking for granted

And all of her smiles

Could not be reminded

You got away

And now I'm looking up to you

From a field of white flowers

You were so proud of me

I'm so proud of you"

Why Do You Blog Anyway?

What defines “the Best” friend? I’ve constantly felt it’s the individual you are most excited to tell your day to. Have you done that; like took two bites of the bread only to have serendipity carve out Abe Lincoln’s profile and then immediately reassess the situation, coloring it fancy, making it oh so apt for “the Best’s” ears? Yeah, me neither. But if I were guilty of such mindless activities I think I would tell my blog. Does that make my blog “the Best” friend? Or does it simply mean I’m starved for a witness to my existence? (Because maybe if I throw a random excerpt of my life into the sea a fish will carry it to wherever it belongs… maybe even home.)

Jenny and I with the Christus

Litany meets the Sea and the Rhythm there.

Pixy Stix and the Soulmate Shirt

Fridays...I'm getting ready to go to a massive Mormon party. For some reason, I'd rather sit around my little cubicle eating colored sugar and listening to Brand New than get all hot-looking and dance up on a random 20-something grad student. Oh, the things we do for marriage. Song of the Day: Last Chance to Lose Your Keys

It was a culmination of things really...

Yesterday, I went chasing after some random kid, uphill let me mind you. Yeeeeah, I'm going crazy. So today Jilly and I were overly stoked about Ender's Game and decided to make a trip of it. We headed to my favorite place in all of P-Town, Barnes and Noble. Unfortunately, neither one of us wanted to pay a ligament to the overly emo cashier, so we just stared at the display like the science fiction nerds we are. So tempted...this is the end of the Shadow series!!!!!!!! We're going to steal it from the library on Monday. Pleasure-delayers, I know.

Yay for the Blue and White

So, it's a official. Next September I will be joining my two best friends in the whole world at Butler University!!!!!!! I've always want to be a bulldog-grrrrr! Can't wait!!!

My B-side

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Currently Watching...

Donnerstag, April 28, 2005

Today's Ear Candy

Jersey Girl

Mittwoch, April 27, 2005

What If

Orson...that's a pretty rough name.

Subtitles

Montag, April 25, 2005

Quotes

Sonntag, April 24, 2005

Quality

Hollywood Hills and Suburban Thrills

Just Call Me Mrs. Kutcher

The Love Game in Indiananana

Samstag, April 23, 2005

Best Friends Means...

Freitag, April 22, 2005

My Runaway Note

A Smelly Breeze Reunion

Donnerstag, April 21, 2005

A Lack Thereof

How Embarrasing, I Know

Mittwoch, April 20, 2005

Hotel Rwanda

Dienstag, April 19, 2005

Sonntag, April 17, 2005

Indiana...boo!

Samstag, April 16, 2005

So Long, So Long

Freitag, April 15, 2005

Ender and Valentine

Donnerstag, April 14, 2005

The Copeland Concert!!

Mittwoch, April 13, 2005

It's All About the Timing

Dienstag, April 12, 2005

Such a promising summer...ha, right.

Samstag, April 09, 2005

The Greatest Pen-Pal

ImDb- the truth hurts...BAD.

Freitag, April 08, 2005

Major Decisions

Donnerstag, April 07, 2005

Who needs the stars anyway?

Mittwoch, April 06, 2005

Speaker for the Dead

Copeland- Priceless

Dienstag, April 05, 2005

Why Do You Blog Anyway?

Sonntag, April 03, 2005

Samstag, April 02, 2005

Pixy Stix and the Soulmate Shirt

It was a culmination of things really...

Freitag, April 01, 2005

Yay for the Blue and White