My B-side

Friday Night Blues

Limited entertainment is a constant problem in Southern Indiana…CONSTANT. But tonight we had Beauty and the Beast. Diane and I decided to head to the civic center, our friend was to make his debut as a butter knife. The place was packed with an excess of overly excited grandparents, tired moms and dads, and whining siblings. And OF COURSE we’re they only ones wearing jeans. We landed on some good seats…no idea how but we took advantage of the situation. The first 8 scenes were fabulous. I even sang along to a few of Guston’s ballads and of course the silverware serenading “Be Our Guest.” It was the dancing ham that brought strife. I began feeling an intense queasiness. Think aftermath of a tilt-a-wheel ride. Luckily intermission saved the day. I grabbed Diane and told her I felt sick. We fought our way through the concession-bound-popcorn-craving fans. I tried telling Di, I was about to faint but I’m too dramatic all the rest of my life so she took my lightheadedness lightly. It was when I threw myself on a bench, my head between my legs she began realizing I wasn’t trying to outdo any of the onstage actors…actresses what ev. By now my vision was pretty much gone, my hearing spent…time to pass out. Yes, in the middle of the Centre in front of thousands of overly dressed supporters…I’ll never wear jeans to a social event again. My forty-something bench mate patted my back…mom certified I’m sure. I looked up at her through my black smudgy inlets (so much for waterproof mascara) and told her I was going to puke. She led me into the bathroom passing the ever-winding queue of angry need-to-pee-ers. A stall opened up just in time. Super Mom held my hair back as I sat bawling over the bowl. Diane had found us but was pushed aside as a mere onlooker. After THAT scene someone set up a chair, I was seated there and given a cold towel. Southern hospitality…wow. Di and I began calling family to pick me up. Too bad they were enjoying the cinemas as I was bowing to porcelain thrones. Diane decided to drive me home, my truck left abandoned in the parking lot. As she was edging out of town her contact freaked out and she became vision-impaired. I, with clear sight now that my fainting spell had ceased drove us the rest of the way home. WHAT A NIGHT…beautiful yet beastly.

posted by Melissa at 01:59